domingo, 7 de enero de 2007

Is the Human Race doomed through stupidity? -------------

Here are some actual label instructions on consumer products that may tellus that we are;
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOMTEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles OPEN OTHER END.
8. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
9. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
10. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
11. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
12. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)- DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
13. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
14. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
15. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
16. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
17. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
18. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
19. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS.
20. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
21. On some frozen dinners SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.
22. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box FITS ONE HEAD.
23. On packaging for a Rowenta iron DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
24. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
25. On Nytol sleep aid WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS*** Company signs of the times -----------------------------
Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed." On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleepwith a drip call your plumber."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stopreading these signs.
" On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fireand take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrists Office: "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence: "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a carpayment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2ndone just left."
In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill.However, if you don't you will be."
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in andget fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counsellors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise isoptional..

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